Sounds Like an Old Jewish Lady Who Smokes

funny word of the day: fern

From Wikipedia:

A fern is any one of a group of about 12,000 species of plants ^[3]. Unlike mosses they have xylem and phloem (making them vascular plants). They have stems, leaves, and roots like other vascular plants. Ferns do not have either seeds or flowers (they reproduce via spores).

By far the largest group of ferns are the leptosporangiate ferns, but ferns as defined here (also called monilophytes) include horsetails, whisk ferns, marattioid ferns, and ophioglossoid ferns. The term pteridophyte also refers to ferns (and possibly other seedless vascular plants; see classification section below).

Ferns first appear in the fossil record in the Carboniferous but many of the current families and species did not appear until roughly the late Cretaceous (after flowering plants came to dominate many environments).

Ferns are not of major economic importance, but some are grown or gathered for food, as ornamental plants, or for remediating contaminated soils. Some are significant weeds. They also feature in mythology, medicine, and art.

But I think it's funny because it reminds me of a leathery-tan, chain-smoking yenta who wears hot pink lipstick and introduces herself in a gravelly voice, "Fern here. Let's tawk."

They're Not Your Ilk

funny word of the day: ilk

Defintion from Merriam-Webster:

¹ilk

Pronunciation: \ˈilk\

Function: pronoun

Etymology: Middle English, from Old English ilca, from *i- that, the same (akin to Gothic is he, Latin, he, that) + *lik- form (whence Old English līc body) — more at iterate, like

Date: before 12th century

chiefly Scottish : same —used with that especially in the names of landed families

²ilk

Function: noun

Date: 1790

: sort, kind

Funnier than Butterfly

funny word of the day: pupa

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Pupa of the Cockchafer (Melolontha melolontha)

A pupa (Latin pupa for doll, pl: pupae or pupas) is the life stage of some insects undergoing transformation. The pupal stage is found only in holometabolous insects, those that undergo a complete metamorphosis, going through four life stages; embryo, larva, pupa and imago.

Pupation may be brief, for example 2 weeks as in monarch butterflies, or the pupa may enter dormancy or diapause until the appropriate season for the adult insect (in temperate climate pupae usually stay dormant during winter, in the tropics pupae usually do so during the dry season). Pupation may last weeks, months or even years. Anise Swallowtails sometimes emerge after years as a chrysalis.

Eager Beaver

funny word of the day: beaver

Definition from Merriam-Webster:

: ¹bea·ver

Pronunciation: \ˈbē-vər\

Function: noun

Inflected Form(s): plural beavers

Etymology: Middle English bever, from Old English beofor; akin to Old High German bibar beaver, and probably to Old English brūn brown — more at brown

Date: before 12th century

1 or plural beaver a : either of two large semiaquatic herbivorous rodents comprising a family (Castoridae including Castor canadensis of North America and C. fiber of Eurasia), having webbed hind feet and a broad flat scaly tail, and constructing dams and partially submerged lodges b : the fur or pelt of the beaver
2 a : a hat made of beaver fur or a fabric imitation b : silk hat
3 : a heavy fabric of felted wool or of cotton napped on both sides
4 usually vulgar : the pudenda of a woman

²beaver

Function: noun

Etymology: Middle English baviere, from Middle French

Date: 15th century

1 : a piece of armor protecting the lower part of the face
2 : a helmet visor

Here are the FWOTDs from the past four days:

1/26 - gumption
1/25 - twerp
1/24 - dabble
1/23 - plop

I've decided to make a sentence out of them, as well as today's:

That twerp had the gumption to plop down next to me and ask me if, like him, I dabble in extramarital affairs and that he'd really like to see my beaver. Needless to say, I slapped him and ran away very fast.

It's Exhausting

funny word of the day: muffler

Definition from Merriam-Webster:

muf·fler

Pronunciation: \ˈmə-flər\

Function: noun

Date: circa 1536

1 a : a scarf worn around the neck b : something that hides or disguises
2 : a device to deaden noise; especially : one forming part of the exhaust system of an automotive vehicle

— muf·flered adjective

In high school, I drove a 1980 Datsun 310GX hatchback. I bought it from my sister for $107 and, though it was a clunker, it got me around (barely). One day I heard a really loud scraping sound and when I pulled into a parking lot, a man told me that my muffler was hanging off the back of my car and hitting the ground when I drove. It was completely rusted. My mechanic warned me not to drive more than 10 miles from my home in that car. But I kind of miss it now that I don't have a car at all.

You Dirty (Musk)rat

funny word of the day: muskrat

From Wikipedia:

The muskrat (Ondatra zibethicus), the only species in genus Ondatra, is a medium-sized semi-aquatic rodent native to North America, and introduced in parts of Europe, Asia, and South America. The muskrat is found in wetlands and is a very successful animal over a wide range of climates and habitats. It plays an important role in nature and is a resource of food and fur for humans, as well as being an introduced species in much of its present range.

The muskrat is the largest species in the subfamily Arvicolinae; which includes 142 other species of rodents, mostly voles and lemmings. Muskrats are called "rats" in a general sense because they are medium-sized rodents with an adaptable lifestyle and an omnivorous diet. They are not, however, so-called "true rats", that is members of the genus Rattus.

The muskrat's name comes from the two scent glands which are found near its tail; they give off a strong "musky" odor which the muskrat uses to mark its territory.

Gross. I'm not a fan of anything that has "rat" in its name or resembles a rat. Even squirrels, which people think are cute, are really just tree rats (at least that's what my mom always told me growing up). The only muskrat I like is a Muppet-like character named Heddy Muskrat in the Jim Henson special "Emmett Otter's Jugband Christmas," a modern-day musical fable based on The Gift of the Magi that is still one of my favorite holiday programs. Too bad my husband and I are virtually the only people who have ever seen it. I highly recommend it.

What a Boob!

funny word of the day: boob

Definition from Merriam-Webster:

¹boob

Pronunciation: \ˈbüb\

Function: noun

Etymology: short for ¹booby

Date: 1907

1 : a stupid awkward person : simpleton
2 : boor, philistine

— boob·ish \ˈbü-bish\ adjective

²boob

Function: noun

Etymology: ³boob

Date: 1934

British : mistake, blunder

Yesterday's FWOTD: snuggle

snug·gle

Pronunciation: \ˈsnə-gəl\

Function: verb

Inflected Form(s): snug·gled; snug·gling \-g(ə-)liŋ\

Etymology: frequentative of ¹snug

Date: 1687

intransitive verb : to curl up comfortably or cozilytransitive verb 1 : to draw close especially for comfort or in affection
2 : to make snug

— snuggle noun